Five Tips for Creating Boundaries with Library Patrons

A while ago, I read about the horrible experiences Sarah Houghton has had at some conferences. While this post doesn't deal with anything near what she's dealt with, some of us may sometimes have problems creating boundaries with patrons in our everyday work.  I asked library customer service specialist extraordinaire Jennifer Steward if she had any helpful advice.  She certainly does! (Personally, I've found the "Do you have a library question?" to be really effective.) -Rebecca

 No, thank you/No/Stop

May have your phone number?  

Would you like some eel-eye candy?

Working with in a public library means talking with a large number of people everyday. Most of the time this is great. People ask great questions and we help help them use the library. Yay!

But sometimes the questions aren't so great. They can be personal, invasive and harassing and you just want to hide in the workroom. It is hard to do your job while hiding, so what can you do? 

1. Be prepared.

Instead of avoiding eye contact with everyone, be ready to deal with the small percentage of people who make things difficult. If being assertive is new to you, practice with someone you trust. End your sentences with periods, not question marks. OK? OK.

2. Start with "no, thank you."

"Would you like to see my scar?" "No, thank you." 

"Do you want to go to the movies tonight?" "No, thank you."

You were asked a question and you gave a polite answer. Done. Most people will accept your answer and move on. Yay!

3. Say "no" and mean it.

Sadly, some people won't accept a polite refusal. Boo! Then you have to be clear and redirect the conversation to a professional place.

"Tell me more about where you are from?" "No, thank you."
"Come on, tell me how many languages you speak?" "No. Do you have a library question?"

Someone who doesn't accept a "no, thank you" to personal questions graciously is not respecting standard social boundaries. You need a clear and simple message. "No." Do not apologize, make an excuse, or ask a question. You get to decide the boundaries of this conversation.

4. Say "stop" and get help.

If the person continues to pursue an intrusive conversation, be more direct. "Stop." Move away from this person and find a supervisor or other person to help you. If someone is violating social boundaries to the point where you have to say "stop", be aware and be safe.

"Do you want to go out?" No, thank you."

"Do you know you have pretty eyes?" No. Do you have a library question?"

"Why don't you want to talk to me?" "Stop."

5. Tell someone.

If you have an encounter with a patron who doesn't accept a "no, thank you", be sure to share what happened with your supervisor and co-workers. If this person violates social boundaries with you, it is likely this person is doing the same with other staff members. Supervisors need to know what happened so they can support staff and follow up with patrons.

Two last notes: 

"No, thank you" works great outside of work, too. 

"Would you like to contribute to this fundraiser?" "No, thank you."

"Would you like to sign up for that service?" "No, thank you."

Try. Practice. Master. These are the keys to being good at anything. Try different tones of voice until you find the no-nonsense "no, thank you" that works for you. Practice saying no thank you/no/stop with a friend. Master setting polite and professional boundaries. You will be great!

Your Best Customer Service

Today's post comes to us from Patti Vincent at Multnomah County Library. Patti was one-half of the customer service duo presenting "Internal Customer Service - Support Staff Working Together" at our conference last year.

 

Excellent Service... When it's ALL about YOU:

No doubt, our own personal mindset can make a huge impact on the quality of our service.  That's why excellent customer service starts with taking great care of ourselves.  We can pamper our minds and bodies by getting enough quality sleep, balancing our diet and exercising regularly.

Still, there are moments in the day we all need a little pick-me-up.  Instead of grabbing another cup of coffee or a piece of chocolate, try a refreshing glass of water and a few calm cleansing breaths.  Even better, grab a quick walk outside to get the blood flowing.  You may be surprised how quickly you are feeling back in the swing.

Excellent Service... When it's NOT all about YOU:
 
Even our best selves can be tripped up by someone having their own bad day.  Check your own behavior, take another calming breath and remember QTIP = Quit Taking it Personally.   

I remember a regular customer who always seemed to be in such an incredibly bad mood all the time.  One day her husband called to ask about a book for himself.  As our conversation closed, he took a moment to thank me and the rest of our staff for being consistently nice to his wife.  "She's been sick and is in chronic pain.  Going to the library is the only trip she makes out of the house. I know she can be difficult, I just wanted you to know why."   

We don't always get the back story.  We can't read minds.  But if we can keep focused on making each transaction positive, we may be making a difference greater than we'll ever know.

Top 5 customer service tips for your library

Here are the top 5 things that I have learned while training and learning about customer service for many (many!) years. Like all things the more I learn, the more there is to learn. Life is a work in progress!

Be healthy!
Eat well, exercise and get enough sleep. It is much easier to be helpful if you feel good.

3 Cs! Make a connection. Have a conversation. Create options.
Connect with a smile, eye contact or by listening to cute cat stories. Good conversations often include clear simple language and are at least 50% listening. Create options based on what will work for this patron or co-worker.

It is everyone’s job to make everyone else’s job easier.
If every co-worker tried to make things easier on the people they work with, wouldn’t the world be a lovely place? Do your fair share of the workload. Be kind, courteous and open to others’ ideas.

You can only control your own behavior and expectations.
You cannot make anyone else behave the way you want. However, by setting a good tone and working collaboratively, you will be amazed at how many patrons and co-workers will follow your lead. Set reasonable expectations -- it is impossible for everyone to do things your way all the time! -- so that you can avoid disappointment and be open to new ways of thinking and doing.

Forgive and forget.
Holding on to negative feelings is extremely stressful. Be good to yourself and others and let it go. Let minor disappointments go quickly. For more major issues, remember that everyone makes mistakes and that people often grow and change. Give it some time, then give people another chance. 

Jennifer Steward is the Circulation Analyst for Multnomah County Libraries, and is a regular blogger on sup·port·abil·i·ty.

5 Tips for Providing Great Customer Service To Your Coworkers

FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

Jennifer Steward, Circulation Analyst for Multnomah County Libraries, is with us again to give us her expertise in customer service.  You may have seen her excellent presentation with Patti Vincent at our recent Gateways Conference.  We hope to make this a regular feature.  Welcome, Jennifer!

 

Five ways to give awesome internal customer service in your library by using your excellent public service skills:

• Set a pleasant and professional tone.

It is surprising how much one person's calm and helpful tone elevates the whole conversation. If you smile, you will probably get a smile back.

• Be as courteous. 

As with family, it can be easy to fall into comfortable shortcuts and forget please, thank you, etc. with coworkers. Why would you be less courteous to the people on your team than you would to a stranger?

• Use your good communication skills -- listen(!), ask questions and summarize to reach understanding.

Before you dismiss a coworker's suggestion, use your interview skills to figure out what is important to this person and how you might be able to meet her need or at least find an acceptable compromise.

• Keep an eye out for people who need help.

This works in both in public and staff areas. If a coworker is having a difficult interaction, stand by and let him know you are paying attention. If someone is struggling with a task, offer to help out. Always ask if you can help first -- or just ask if everything is OK -- in case he has it under control.

• Be a reliable source of information.

Library staff pride themselves on giving only quality information from a credible source to patrons. Why would you or your coworkers deserve less? Before you pass on the latest gossip, make sure your information is true -- and kind.

How to handle difficult situations

Jennifer Steward, a Circulation Analyst with Multnomah County Library, is posting today about dealing with difficult patron situations. She and Lisa Canavan presented on that topic at the 2011 OLS-SSD conference.

"There’s a problem with my library card!"

Does that make you cringe or prepare for battle?

Perhaps there is a third option? What I try to do is guide the patron to a place where we can work things out together. Here are two things you can do to guide interactions toward collaboration and not let them spiral into real problems.

Set the tone.
Your goal is to be calm, polite and helpful - even if the patron isn’t. The patron will usually rise to your standard. Try not to absorb any anger/fear/anxiety that comes your way. By setting the tone, you are also teaching the patron how to treat you.

Be aware of feelings – both yours and the patron’s.
Think about your feelings. If you seem fearful, some people may bully you. If you are dismayed that patrons get fines, you may seem judgmental. If you are determined to prove that you are in the right, you may seem combative. What do you need to do to get into a collaborative place?

Think about the patron’s feelings. What looks like anger is often fear. Does the patron think she’s "in trouble" or fear that she won’t be able to use the library? Does she need to connect with you emotionally – by being listened to or reassured - before she can hear the practical options available to her? What does she need from you to move from conflict to collaboration?

While some patrons may be too upset to follow you into collaboration, you may be surprised how many will. For me, it is also important to know that even if things don’t end well, I know that I remained polite and respectful, even under pressure. Woo-hoo!

For more information on customer service and collaboration, try Great customer connections by Richard S. Gallagher and Radical Collaboration by James W. Tamm and Ronald J. Luyet.

Do you have a library question today?

Today's guest blogger talking about our recent 2011 Conference at The Oregon Garden is Jay Hadley, an Operations Supervisor at the historic Central Library in Multnomah County, where he supervises the work of support staff. He was also our 2011 Conference Committee Chair.

"That's very interesting and thank you for telling me that.  Do you have a library question today?"

Thus was the refrain of the "What to Say: Customer Service in Difficult Situations" session at the 2011 OLA SSD Conference. The room was electric with energy and laughter, as about 80 support staff from libraries all over Oregon shared tales of their customer service experiences and practiced new techniques. Presenter Jennifer Steward played the role of a staff member trying to help a patron, and Lisa Canavan played the role of a difficult patron who kept interjecting all kinds of distractions.  Jennifer kept coming back to the refrain, of "Do you have a library question?" and the participants nodded in approval as they saw different situations handled.  Jennifer and Lisa, both staff at Multnomah County Library, also covered tips on body language and how to deal with potentially dangerous situations.  Two are better than one, so always work with your teammates for safety.

This was just one of my highlights from this conference.  It was a great day at the Oregon Garden in Silverton, with the weather reaching nearly 80 degrees.  124 attendees enjoyed the day and many had a lunchtime tour of the gardens.

Another highlight was Abigail Elder's keynote address.  As the director of Tualatin Public Library, she has worked very hard to build inroads to her community.  She says her best reference time of the week is the hour she spends washing dishes on Fridays at the nearby senior center.  She gets all kinds of questions and has built great relationships.

That's what working at a library is all about for me, building relationships with the people in our various communities.  That way we get the chance to make someone's day, which just might change someone's life!